Me versus Us: Individualistic and Communitarian Value Systems, Family Life, Parenting and Learning Across Different Cultures with Dr. Cornelius N. Grove

In this episode, I have the great pleasure to speak with ethnologist and author Dr. Cornelius N. Grove about his fascinating book “How Other Children Learn: What Five Traditional Societies Tell Us about Parenting and Children’s Learning” which examines the parenting styles and learning of those communitarian cultures and compares and contrasts them with the North American individualistic setting and context.

One of the main differences is the effects of their environment and living conditions on their relationship with and rationale for having children. This comes with different worldviews where in North America we tend to foster individuality and focus on the needs of the individual child while in traditional communitarian societies, everything is geared towards what is best for the extended family and their group and community needs.

This is exemplified in child-rearing and parenting styles around doing chores. The North American parent tries to persuade their children to do chores and praise and reward them for it as if it were a favor, whereas, in traditional and indigenous societies, this is the expected outcome and norm and starts from a very early age. Children in North America receive parental care and attention, and we strive to satisfy and fulfill their needs and desires, while in communitarian (collectivist) societies, the children are expected to give and provide labor and care to the other members of the family and group.

Finally, we discuss the potential takeaways, how being and feeling useful to one’s society and community can help counteract feelings of loneliness and isolation and foster belonging and feelings of self-worth. Moreover, we debate the influence and effects of education as well as the lack thereof and how we can better understand and appreciate the many differences across nations and cultures.