Arash's World Podcast

I Need You… Now Go Away”: The Push–Pull Relationship Patterns Behind Personality Disorders & How to Best Go About It with Dr. Laura Dabney

In this episode of Arash’s World, I have the pleasure of speaking with Psychiatrist and Relationship Expert Dr. Laura Dabney and author of “I Need You… Now Go Away!: Reclaiming Your Life When Someone You Love Has a Personality Disorder” where she reframes personality disorders not as “types of people,” but as a core emotional conflict: an almost phobic push–pull between closeness and distance.

Dr. Dabney explains why partners often feel trapped in repeating patterns rooted in childhood familiarity and why waiting for the other person to change rarely works. Instead, she argues that shifting your own responses can disrupt the pattern and help the relationship dynamic evolve.

We then move from labels to practical tools, such as noticing “destructive aggression” (forcing, cornering) and “destructive passivity” (withholding, expecting mind-reading), learning to tolerate difficult emotions (especially anger, sadness, and neediness), and using boundaries with “bridge statements” that protect you without escalating rejection.

Moreover, Dr. Dabney explains how to distinguish all this from “normal” stress and stressors within a healthy and functioning relationship and when to seek help with a health professional, be it a life coach or a relationship expert like herself.

Finally, she also makes a case for integrating CBT for stability and trust and then to follow it up deeper with psychodynamic insight to bring about lasting change, and she shares that she created Relationship RX for people who need clear actionable direction without necessarily committing to long-term therapy.

 

Night Terminus Bearing Witness: Queer Statelessness, Belonging, and Resilience Amidst the Long Shadow of AIDS with Author Ellis Scott

In this episode of Arash’s World, I have the pleasure of speaking with Ellis Scott, a debut novelist of sharing his unconventional path to publication, which includes beginning his writing career at 55 after early retirement due to illness following decades spent delivering humanitarian aid in conflict zones. Now 62, he is the author of Night Terminus, a novel that confronts one of our most devastating and overlooked chapters of recent history: the aftermath of the AIDS crisis.

Rather than focusing on the epidemic itself, Ellis centers his novel on survivors: those who lived through years of loss, stigma, and fear and were never expected to survive. Drawing on personal experience as a gay teenager during the early years of AIDS, he reflects on survivor’s guilt, PTSD, chronic illness, and the long emotional shadow cast by a crisis that lasted far longer than many acknowledge. Our conversation explores the stark contrast between societal responses to AIDS and COVID‑19, the silence and hostility of governments in the 1980s, and the grassroots activism that emerged when institutions failed to deliver.

The novel spans forty years, five chapters, and multiple continents, following a nameless narrator whose identity is revealed through the people he encounters: exiles, fugitives, rebels, artists, and fellow survivors. Themes of statelessness, travel, and belonging run throughout capturing what Ellis describes as the queer experience of being “guests at the party,” never quite hosts.

Ultimately, the discussion returns to courage and self‑authorship: the idea that even if history dictates the beginning of one’s story, it is still possible to write one’s own ending. Night Terminus stands as both a literary act of remembrance and a testament to resilience and community.

 

Skydancing, Liminal Spaces and Entering the Blue Gate: On Serendipity in Kenya with Poet Kathryn MacDonald

In this episode, I’m joined by Poet Kathryn MacDonald to discuss her hybrid poetry collection The Blue Gate, a book-length lyric poem that moves from love into loss and grief, with its central section of a serendipitous month-long trip to Kenya shortly after her husband’s death.

Kathryn explores recurring motifs of rain and water as bountifulness amid drought, and red-tailed hawks as a metaphor for trust and lifelong love through “skydancing.” She reflects on culture shock, how grief is approached and dealt with in different contexts alongside her experience of living “two realities” at the same time.

We also talk about the role of poetry and how it enriches our lives and gives voice to complex emotions that cannot be subsumed in words. Moreover, Kathryn mentions her different inspirations, and how writers and artists, such as Solnit, Blixen, Rilke as well as surrealist painters influence her craft. The episode closes with Kathryn reading two of her poems: “Skydancing” and the closing poem of the book, “Albinoni’s Adagio,” underscoring endurance with “And still. I live.”

 

Squeeze the Juice and Just Sit with Elephants: Lessons in Humility from the African Bush with Business Professor Dr. Ron Dulek

In this episode, I have the great pleasure of speaking with University of Alabama Professor and Author of Sitting with Elephants: Lessons in Humility from the African Bush Dr. Ron Dulek who shares how a life devoted to teaching led him to an unexpected second classroom: the African Bush! In fact, he recounts how a desire to “squeeze the juice” out of life pushed him and his wife to buy a remote home bordering Kruger National Park in South Africa, trading comfort and routine for humility, presence, and risk.

What started off as a sabbatical-style adventure evolves into a profound, years-long relationship with a wild elephant matriarch. Guided by local safari experts, Ron learned the “language” of elephants including how to approach without threat, how to read fear and trust, and how humility, not dominance, determines safety. Over time, this careful respect leads to extraordinary moments of bonding: mock charges that end in calm recognition, an elephant falling asleep nearby as a sign of trust, and repeated visits across years that defy easy explanation.

The relationship, however, is not romanticized. Ron confronts the limits of closeness with wild animals when safety, boundaries, and the “fence of respect” become essential both in the bush and in human leadership. Drawing parallels between elephants, classrooms, and corporate life, he reflects on how leaders can be close without crossing lines, and why humility is a prerequisite for trust and mutual respect.

 

The Fix Code Magic in Motion: Stacey Nye on Fast Release of Trauma via the Rewriting of the Unconscious Mind

In this episode, I have the pleasure of talking to Stacey Nye, Co‑Creator of The Fix Code, for a deep and personal conversation about healing, consciousness, and lasting inner change. Stacey shares her journey from personal crisis to co‑creating a rapid, intuitive self‑healing method alongside her business partner, Daniel Flear, whose decades of study in hypnotherapy and NLP with a pivotal spiritual experience sparked the creation of the Fix Code.

Together, they explore how unconscious “parasitic programs” formed through past experiences drive anxiety, depression, fear, and even physical discomfort. The Fix Code works by identifying and extracting the core emotional charge, often a single word or feeling, and disconnecting it from memories and neural pathways. Rather than reliving trauma, the process shifts how people feel about their experiences, often in just minutes, creating clarity, emotional freedom, and a renewed sense of presence.

In our conversation, we weave together personal stories, practical examples, and philosophical insights, touching on fate, self‑awareness, leadership, and the idea that healing is not a one‑time event but an ongoing journey and process. However, Stacey emphasizes empowerment and asserts that the Fix Code is a self‑help tool anyone can learn and use, from parents and athletes to CEOs, and that it helps and supports people to “look for the good as it’s everywhere” once the inner noise quiets down.

 

Sketchbook of Hope, Art, and Dialogue: Inside Room’s Psychoanalytic Multidisciplinary Magazine with Hattie Myers and Aneta Stojnić

In this episode, I have the great pleasure of talking to Hattie Myers and Aneta Stojnić, two key figures behind “Room: A Sketchbook for Analytic Action,” a psychoanalytic magazine and community as well as a recipient of the prestigious Sigourney Award.

Our conversation explores the origins of “Room,” which was founded after the 2016 U.S. presidential election to provide a space for analysts to think, write, and connect during times of crisis. Over nearly a decade, Room has grown into an international ecosystem, spanning 160 countries and embracing a multidisciplinary approach that includes poetry, literature, art, and psychoanalysis.

The editorial process is unique: there are no preset themes, and each issue emerges organically from community submissions, reflecting poignant and accessible ideas. Moreover, Room is committed to open access, supporting emerging voices, especially women in challenging circumstances, through initiatives like “We Are the Light.” The magazine, podcasts, and roundtables foster dialogue, hope, and action, aiming to bring psychoanalysis out of the consulting room and into the world, underscoring both reflection and real-world change.

 

Art Monsters and the Balance of Genius: The Quest for Creative Life with Women Among Monuments Author Kasia Van Schaik

In this episode, I have the great pleasure of speaking with Kasia Van Schaik, a writer, professor, and artist, discusses the central themes of her book/memoir “Women among Monuments: Solitude, Permission, and the Pursuit of Female Genius.” We explore what it means to live a creative life, especially as a woman, and the ongoing search for permission both societal and self-given to pursue artistic fulfillment. We touch on the historical invisibility of women among cultural “monuments,” referencing literary figures like Virginia Woolf, which highlights the persistent relevance of these questions today.

We also delve into the concept of the “art monster” - artists who prioritize their work above all else, sometimes at the expense of others - and examine the tension between creative ambition and personal happiness. Kasia reflects on the importance of balancing solitude and community for creativity, the role of memory and memoir in shaping narrative, and the evolving language around gender and genius.

We conclude with insights on self-permission, the value of boundaries, and the subjective nature of genius, encouraging everyone to embrace their creative impulses without waiting for external validation and to follow their heart and dreams regardless.

The Power of Vulnerability, Boundaries & Forgiveness: The Journey of Feeling Truly Fine with Christian Life Coach Darla Nelson

In this episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with Darla Nelson, a Christian life coach and the author of “I’m Fine. Really?: Moving from Stress and Anxiety to Peace and Calm.” We discuss how the phrase “I’m fine” often masks deeper struggles, and on the importance of being honest with ourselves and others about our true feelings. Furthermore, we explore vulnerability, especially in close relationships, and recognize that sharing our stories can create meaningful connections and reduce stress.

Although being vulnerable can be difficult, particularly for men, opening up to others is important for growth. In addition, setting boundaries and practicing forgiveness are essential for our well-being, and we are responsible for our responses to life’s events even when circumstances are beyond our control.

The power of gratitude and the need to shift from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance can also increase to a more fulfilling life. This can be achieved by small, intentional changes, such as practicing self-kindness and embracing gradual progress and can lead to greater peace and authenticity. In fact, health is multidimensional, and nurturing our emotional and spiritual selves is just as important as physical exercise.

As we consider and appreciate the value of learning from life’s challenges, and as we continue being honest with ourselves and allow ourselves to make mistakes, we foster resilience, deeper connections, and a more compassionate approach to ourselves and others and feel truly “fine” in our skin.

 

Beyond Myths and Lies Toward Truth and Hope: On Compassionate Person-Centered Care for Alzheimer’s and Dementia with Lisa Skinner

In this episode, I have the great pleasure of speaking with behavioral expert, certified dementia practitioner and trainer Lisa Skinner about her book “Truth, Lies, and Alzheimer’s: Its Secret Faces.”  We dive into the complexities of Alzheimer’s and dementia, challenging the common myths that surround these conditions while also acknowledging that Alzheimer’s and dementia are often misunderstood, with many people, even professionals, mistakenly believing they are just a normal part of aging (they are not).

That said, we also touch upon the differences between normal forgetfulness and signs and symptoms of dementia and note that occasional memory lapses are indeed a normal part of aging and should not be a cause for concern. However, when memory issues become frequent and start to impact daily life, it would be recommended to seek help.

Lisa explains that dementia is caused by over 100 different brain diseases but that a diagnosis does not mean life is over. We explore how people living with dementia, as well as their families and caregivers, can still find meaning, purpose, and joy within a diagnosis. We can help our loved ones live meaningful lives by focusing on person-centered care, validating their experiences, and not simply trying to “correct” them. When we focus on the individual rather than just the disease, we can help people live well for many years, provided we have the right knowledge, skills, and strategies.

When it comes to risks, there are significant differences between modifiable and nonmodifiable factors.  While we cannot change our age or genetics, we can reduce our own risk by managing health factors like heart disease, sleep, and diet. Most importantly, with the right approach, there is hope and quality of life for those affected by dementia as we can help them live meaningful lives while at the same time supporting each other through the challenges and uncertainties that come with these difficult conditions.

 

Real Food, Real Healing with Kindness as Medicine: Transforming Both Pet and Human Health with Dr. Doug Coward

In this episode, I have the great pleasure of speaking with veterinarian, author, surfer, and lifelong wellness advocate Dr. Doug Coward as he shares his remarkable journey from wildlife medicine to holistic pet care. We talk about his book, Healing Both Ends of the Leash, and how real food, compassion, and individualized care can transform the health of both pets and their humans.

In fact, a simple shift from processed food and kibble to fresh, whole ingredients can lead to dramatic recoveries and healing in animals and their human counterparts in a number of diseases and health conditions, including autoimmune disorders.

We also explore the deep connection and symbiosis between people and their pets, highlighting how kindness and attention to individuality are powerful forms of medicine. Doug shares stories of families who embraced holistic nutrition, explains the science behind kindness affecting our DNA, and touches upon the parallels between parenting children and raising animals.

From the challenges of training stubborn breeds to the joy of seeing pets thrive, this is more than a guide for pet lovers; it’s a call to rethink health for all and to keep in mind that wellness is a shared journey and one that benefits sentient beings on both ends of the leash.